DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
