I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
