Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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