Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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