your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
