and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize