then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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