The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
as a side note pls kill me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
