I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
