Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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