When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm like, not good at living.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
