so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
