I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
