did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize