Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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