We're facebook friends in real life
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
