he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
