if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
