we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
