I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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