It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
