sorry about calling you the devil all night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
