I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
