you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The feeling are messing with the penis
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
