I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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