Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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