I just saw a hot homeless man
this beer tastes like vomit already
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
