i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
