Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
