he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
