She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i will never coherently bang her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just forgot I was standing up.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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