i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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