New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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