Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
