If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
porn star boner night. come get it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
