he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
