problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
