I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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