what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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