Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
