If that was your dad, he is hot
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
