Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize