who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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