I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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