Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
