I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
