so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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