Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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