Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
