there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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