Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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