I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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