it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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