u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
