girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
