Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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