Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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